Ave Maria
“Ave
Maria (Hail Mary), gratia plena (full of grace), dominus tecum (the Lord is
with you), benedicta tu in mulieribus (Blessed are you among women) et benedictus
fructus ventris tui Jesus (and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus).
Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, (Holy Mary, Mother of God) ora pro nobis peccatoribus
(pray for us sinners), nunc et in hora mortis nostrae (now and at the hour of
our death). Amen”.
I
have adopted this beautiful Carthusian custom into my eremitic reality. In the
hermitage where I live, after entering from outside, there is a small corridor
called Ave Maria with a humble image of Mary, the Gate of Heaven (the
main Icon can be found in the Chapel of St. Brunon the Carthusian). In front of
that image I say “Ave Maria” in Latin each time I enter the hermitage. A
priceless moment of stillness. Through this prayer I reinforce the awareness of
Mary’s presence. Mary covers me with a coat protecting from dangers and reminds
me with love: “Do whatever Jesus Christ tells you.” I notice that each time I
go outside the hermitage I become a bit less focused, less concentrated. The
world forces itself through each possible channel into our souls. “Hail Mary”
purifies, brings back an internal harmony and integrates my soul with a
peaceful atmosphere of the hermitage. I can sense the existence of an invisible
but real moat with the water of God’s grace. The hermitage is a place of
solitude and silence. It is a sacred space of “God’s stronghold” against the
earthly rush, noise and chaos. “Angelic Salutation” protects a heart from the
damaging influence of the external world in the same way a moat protected a
medieval stronghold from numerous dangers. At the time when I did not say this
prayer it was much more difficult for me to breathe with the silence of the
hermitage immediately after entering it. Now it is completely different. I know
it is thanks to Mary who, with Her whole heart, fulfils Jesus’s Testament from
the Cross “Woman, here is Your son,” (compare John 19: 25-27). I can sense that
Mary specifically takes care of Her son, a poor hermit.
It
is very important to recite “Angelic Salutation” in Latin. Basically, I say my
prayers in Polish. However, in that case, I fully follow the Carthusian custom
and pray in Latin. It gives me the breath of a spiritual depth. I feel that I
become a part of an age-old stream of the powerful prayer of the Church. What
enormous treasures of prayer and ideas were created in Latin! At the same time,
when in solitude and silence I recite “Ave Maria”, in the depth of my heart I
delicately sense the mystic breath of medieval monasteries. Every day I derive
from the spirit of this incredibly huge source of prayer.
And
there is one more thing of great importance. When people return home, they
greet their loved ones. A hermit goes back to his hermitage in which no other
man lives. However, it does not mean that there is not anybody else here. In
God, there is Mary, all Saints and all present spiritually. Keeping this truth
in mind, “Ave Maria” becomes a warm greeting and an encouraging reminder that I
am never alone “within these four walls” of my hermitage. Solitude full of God.
Thanks to “Ave Maria”, this truth, drop by drop, penetrates my whole body and
soul.
Does work always make sense?
We
live in the atmosphere of excessive workload. Subconsciously, we feel
that the more we do the better. The
amount of work we do becomes a reference point of our self-esteem. That is why
even prayer is perceived by many people as a waste of time which evokes
remorses for not working. In the face of the cult of overwork, it’s worth
noticing that some of the highest–ranking Nazi war criminals, e.g. Himmler,
labored from dawn till dusk. And what came of that?... There are so many cases
when people who work really hard do great harm to other people. Moreover, work
followed by success can lead to haughtyself-conceit (not realized, of
course).
A
moment of a sober reflection will let us see that work and products of human
effort may serve both good and evil. What does it depend on? Actually, it
depends on the spirit which inspires our work. In the reality of this world it
is possible not only for the Holy Spirit but also for the Evil one to equip us
for some time with great amount of strength and power. There is a radical
difference between a person who truly believes and somebody who does not
believe in God. For the person who believes, the whole sense of a human life
lies in constantly receiving the Holy Spirit. Work is understood here as one of
the ways to “inhale” the Holy Spirit. The awareness of being a tool in the hand
of the Divine Creator makes the lowliness of a heart grow in response to the
development of great works.
On
the other hand, non-believers regard themselves as the only creators. “I”
becomes “God, the Creator”. When such a person achieves success, their heart
automatically gets filled with “the hubris of a genius”. Such an attitude
leads, sooner or later, to the submission to the Evil spirit. The Evil spirit,
having captured a victim, gives them strength to make them work to the benefit
of “an evil plan”.
We
need to clarify the meaning of the terms “believer” and “non-believer”. It does
not refer to a theoretical “record in documents” but to the practical way of
life. A person, who believes, builds their life on the faith in God. Non-
believers, on the other hand, construct only on themselves. It means that we
may be baptized Christians and still behave as non-believers. At the same time,
a person who claims to be a non –believer may in reality, in accordance with
their conscience, serve the Love and the Truth and in that way build their life
on God.
The
optimal situation is when a person, enriched by the sacrament of baptism, wants
to know God and completely bet their life on Him. Jesus explains: “And this is
eternal life, that they know You the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You
have sent.”(John, 17:3). In the biblical language “knowing” does not refer only
to some theoretical–erudite set of information. In this meaning, computers
would be “the giants of faith” nowadays. It is a question of an overall
understanding which includes knowledge, longing and feeling. To know somebody
is to get into a relationship with this person, to be as close as possible to
each other. In this sense, we cannot get to know God on our own. Such a
relationship is possible only through the Holy Spirit. That is why the
statement, that the whole sense of a human life for a Christian is to receive
the Holy Spirit, is surely true.
We
cannot, however, reduce the opening to the Holy Spirit only to the set of
emotional prayers. An intense call of a whole person, their soul and body, is
necessary. In this sense, work, which should be treated as an overall opening
to the Holy Spirit, gains a deep meaning. Physical and spiritual struggle
becomes then a time of soaking with the Holy Spirit. Such work is not any more
a way to hell, but a beautiful sanctifying of our lives and heading for Heaven.
Verbal calling “Come Holy Spirit” is very important, however, such a prayer is
truly effective only when it becomes, in a way, a crowning of a life entirely
focused on the Holy Spirit. May the present time of preparations to the feast
of Holy Pentecost be particularly fruitful for all of us…
How to pray
well?
A prayer is a holy way to God. God always gives
us what we need the most. The problem is that we do not know how to accept the
gifts of God. Unfortunately,
in our prayer, we very often leave out some necessary elements of mental and
spiritual nature. That is why it is important to realize three common mistakes
which prevent us from absorbing the fullness of God’s Love.
The
first mistake is when we limit ourselves to automatic recitation of ready texts
and “sets of prayers” (texts of Saints, rosaries, chaplets, etc.). This is a
kind of “magical thinking” which makes us believe that saying a particular
prayer leads us automatically to an expected result. Sadly, in such prayers
there is no awareness of living God and no honest expression of our internal
joys and sufferings.
The
second case is when there is a false impression of being trustful and ready to
follow the God’s plan. The strong point of this attitude is the awareness of
God’s presence and desire to fulfill God’s Will. However, the thing which is
lacking here is the authenticity. If we do not tell God about our specific
pains, the Divine Mercy cannot reach “the suffering areas”. As a result, our
declaration of God’s Will is just “an abstract theory” and not “the fullness of
heart”.
Finally, the third mistake is about concentrating only on our own experiences.
It is really good that all our sufferings are named and expressed. However, the
huge problem which exists here is that we do not take the God’s Will into
consideration. Even if the word “God” is uttered, what really matters, are our
own expectations and sufferings. It is truly a passionate calling; however, we
direct it only to ourselves.
Searching
for the model prayer, we should focus on the Gospel scene in Gethsemane.
Christ, as the Highest and Eternal Priest, utters the significant words,
perfectly united with the reaction of His body and soul: "My Father! If it
is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from Me. Yet I want Your
will be done, not Mine." (Matthew 26:39).
In
this calling of Jesus, we can easily perceive three pearls of the art of
prayer. Most of all, Jesus directs to God the Father with the humble trust in
His heart; He utters the word “Father” after “falling with His face to the
ground”. This is the act of the highest adoration performed in deep awareness
of God’s presence. For us, Jesus is the only intercessor before the Father.
That is why, at the beginning of the prayer we must clearly realize that we are
in front of Jesus. A visible sign, like a cross or a picture can be a practical
help.
Then,
Jesus honestly describes His deepest experiences and desires of His heart.
There is no pious affectation but the naturalness and spontaneity of a man. In
that way we receive a practical hint that in an authentic prayer we must openly
tell Jesus about everything. There are absolutely no taboo subjects. The model
prayer is not “standing at attention” but spontaneous throwing ourselves with
weeping or joy into the loving arms of Our Father. It is very important to
reflect precisely in our words the desires which we experience. This aim can be
also achieved through “reciting” with love in our hearts some popular prayers
(e.g. rosary or psalms). All of that should be performed in the atmosphere of
“the listening silence”.
Finally,
the crowning of the whole prayer of Jesus is His radical readiness to fulfill
the Father’s Will. The deepest spiritual act is expressed in the attitude of
the heart which tells God: “Yet I want Your will be done, not Mine." This
is “a universal crown” of each of our prayers if we want to be Jesus’s
disciples. This is the radical availability to surrender our will to God’s Will.
Contemplating
the way in which Jesus prays, we receive the model Christian prayer. It is a
humble calling of a man who stands with love before God, honestly tells about
everything, consciously “recites” and at last, trustfully agrees to God’s Will.
That is a real prayer which brings beautiful fruit in earthly existence and
surely leads to Eternal Life.
How to tell the truth?
She told the truth. In effect, a conflict has
arisen. Nothing of what she told was accepted. Such a reaction confirmed her
conviction that she was “crucified” in the same way as Christ, the Embodied
Truth was. However, that biblical reference was a total misuse. The real reason
of the tension was a hurting "blow of truth in the face".
Yes! People who pride themselves in telling the
truth often tend to be too hasty in “sacralizing” their actions. They are too
rash in perceiving themselves as noble people who suffer from rejection because
of the testimony of faith they give. In fact, instead of “sanctity” we observe
the conduct which is contrary to the Gospel. How should we understand it?
First of all, according to Jesus, love is the
most important thing. Our aim should not be only to tell the truth but to give
love with the help of the truth. Bitter truth deprived of compassion can
mentally destroy a person. That is the main reason why people often reject the
truth they hear. They do not feel the love of the person who conveys the truth
and subconsciously put on armour to protect themselves from a dangerous
attacker. That’s right! A person spreading the truth without love becomes an
aggressive and dangerous ideologist against whom we should thoroughly protect
ourselves. Physical and mental health is more important than an uncontrolled
stream of some “clever-clever tirades”.
The other reason why some people do not accept
the truth is the feeling of humiliation. “Self-appointed prophets” quite often
make their listeners feel less worthy and unintelligent. “A sage thesis”
pronounced by them serves only as a pretext for promoting an “enlightened”
person of the speaker. Statements, such as: “I don’t like it” or “I don’t agree
to it” which appear in this kind of utterances contribute even more to the
listener’s negative attitude and result in developing their defensive
reactions. It needs a lot of humbleness to stay calm in response to somebody
else’s demonstration of excessive pride and egoism. In such a case, people who
turn down the words of truth do not refuse to accept the truth itself but
simply reject the haughty and conceited conduct of the speaker. The mere fact
that somebody disapproves of something in me does not mean that I should change
my behaviour or beliefs. An argument “I don’t like it” has no intellectual
value and, as a form of emotional blackmail, cannot be accepted.
Refusing to accept the truth proclaimed
“without love” but “with haughtiness” instead, can be compared to a situation
when a chimney sweep tries to offer a bar of chocolate. Unluckily, the wrapping
is all covered with sooth and coal tar. Not accepting such a “gift” does not
mean denying that chocolate is a delicious thing. The chocolate itself would
probably be very willingly accepted. However, the dirty wrapping makes it
impossible. The chimney sweep would be wrong thinking that somebody has an
aversion to his delicious chocolate. That is true, the chocolate is not
accepted but only because it’s covered with revolting dirt, sooth and coal
tar.
Jesus always proclaimed the Truth with His
Heart full of humbleness and love. That is why the poor opened their hearts to
His preaching and activity. The Master created the best possible conditions to
help people trustfully accept the saving message about the Kingdom of God. We
can say that He offered the chocolate in a clean wrapping. Everybody who opened
to the sweetness of the Good News could simply accept it. Unfortunately, there
were also numerous Pharisees and scribes whose hearts were hard. Despite the
obvious signs of love, they closed their hearts to the Truth of Christ (John 8,
31-42).
Also in our lives similar situations may occur.
However, our first duty is to examine as honestly as possible our hearts and
intentions and make sure that the problem does not lie within our inappropriate
conduct. The moral basis to identify our suffering with the suffering of Jesus
exists only in a case when people reject the truth which we convey with genuine
love and humbleness. Only then we can feel entitled to perceive ourselves as
“martyrs” fighting for the Truth. Guide us, Lord….
Let us not judge!...
One of the monks was passing
away. There was a warm smile on his face. He was beaming with trust. Filled
with peace, he was waiting for death, whose nearness he could clearly feel.
Such an attitude of the dying monk deeply troubled and embarrassed many others.
Some of them were even shocked that the poor man so carelessly faced the last
moments of his life. There were also a few who seriously believed that after
death the monk would go to hell. What was the reason of such puzzlement, worry
or discomposure?
The dying monk had plenty of weaknesses. His
vices and faults were widely known, and he himself willingly brought them out.
Especially “keen Pharisees” could not stand him failing to follow the legal
regulations of the monastery. In such atmosphere of anxiety and fear that the
old man would go to hell, finally, one of the monks, full of indignation,
asked: “Father, your life is coming to its end. Pretty soon you’ll stand in
front of God’s Judgment. You know you’ve sinned a lot. And still you look so
calm and there’s no trace of fear on your face. If I were you, I would be
really scared that I could go to hell and in these last moments I would pray
fervently for the Almighty God’s mercy!”
The old monk listened carefully to the advice of
the brother, who was keen on the external gestures and practices, and answered
him kindly: “Yes, my dear friend, you are truly right. I’m very sinful and
wretched. I’m aware of my numerous faults. Unfortunately, I’ve committed many
sins and so often I haven’t served as an example to others. However, I wish to
tell you something really important. Despite all my weaknesses, I have never
done one thing: I have never in my life judged another person. Yes! I have
never uttered a condemning word of judgment towards any man. And our Lord said: Do not judge, or you too will be judged.
For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure
you use, it will be measured to you. (Matthew 7:1-2) Jesus Christ always
keeps His promises. And since I have never judged anybody, I stay calm and
certain that I will not be judged by God on the Last Judgment. All Saints will
probably act in a similar way. That is why my heart is full of peace and there
is a trustful smile on my face.”
This priceless reflection of the dying monk is
truly a valuable pearl of love and wisdom. It is a privileged guidepost to
Heaven. Unfortunately, many people make an absurd life mistake. The mistake is
about investing great amounts of energy into different efforts connected with
requirements of morality. In fact, the result is the external fulfillment of
rules and regulations. But then, condemning judgment of others, the ones who
are “worse” appears in their hearts. In effect, condemning people lose
everything they have achieved. Why? A person who judges others is disobedient
to Jesus’s words concerning judging. And they commit a grave sin of
disobedience. As a consequence of such a haughty and disobedient attitude, all
other merits and achievement become meaningless. The situation can be depicted
by an image of a man who laboriously joined the pieces of stained glass only to
break it afterwards with a hammer of their own judgments.
On the other hand, stained glass of somebody,
who has got many weaknesses but who does not judge others, may not be a perfect
one but definitely does not get broken. And finally, God, seeing the humbleness
and obedience, through the power of His Mercy, offers a miraculous gift of
“embellishing” the stained glass for eternity!
The monk who was dying,
was in fact a saint monk, who in his weakness put all of his trust in the
Divine Mercy. That is why he could die in deep peace, certain of God offering
His gifts for ever. Let us not judge so that we will not be judged…
Love your enemies
„Love your enemies!” Is not it a completely impossible
challenge? To love a slanderer who spoke defamatory words about me?
To love a cheat who cheated on me? To love an oppressor who
resorts to mobbing and psychological damage. The endless list of
questions. The endless list of human tragedies…
Yes! These truly controversial Biblical words lead to
immediate objection. Either the objection openly shown with righteous
indignation, or the more reserved objection, namely, the one hidden deeply in
the heart. At this point one has to also face the fundamental right to the
human’s justice. Being harmed, how can I reply with love? That is
complete nonsense. Similar kind of logic applies to praying. How can I pray for
my enemy or for my oppressor ? Praying , a rather noble activity, seems to
be designated only for praying for friends or for those who do the
right deed for you.
The set of arguments against the love of one’s enemies
is overwhelmingly convincing. Still, Jesus Christ says ‘But I say to you,
love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons
of your Father who is in heaven; ‘(Mt 5,44n.)
Does Christ then want something extraordinary from an
ordinary mortal ? Or is it a challenge only for the chosen ones, for the so
called ‘pantheon of saints’? No. It is not so. First of all, we should not look at Christ’s words as a kind of inhuman request
or a strict obligation. In
general, forcing someone to love you is a very scary idea. It is
actually a good sign if someone is allergic to words ‘you must love’. If
someone forces to love, it means they do not love and do not have a clue about
love. Love is profoundly connected with freedom. It comes to life only with the
completely free choice of the heart.
In that way, Christ’s words should not be understood
solely as an obligation but rather as a truly friendly invitation. There
is no pressure. Having experienced freedom in love makes it hard to
keep the tears from falling, the tears full of grace. Christ never forces but
always invites to love, He invites even his enemies, as He is convinced in his
Heart that this is the best He can offer.
And
that is why we should accept His invitation. I do open my heart to love, even to the
love of your enemies. Being completely free I open my heart to love, also
to love my enemies. I trust in God who offers the only best solution and
that makes me the God’s child. This also exemplifies the wise care based on a
realistic approach. Why ?
Replying with wrong, even if one has been harmed,
creates an even greater hell in the heart. The initial experience of harm is
just the beginning. Not replying with love means accepting the suicidal logic
of revenge. What does it lead to ? So, if I open my heart to the wrong,
the flow of the worst feelings starts. I ruthlessly tread on someone's toes.
And even if at the same time, the Holy Spirit is really trying to help me
, He cannot, as the heart of the harmed one has been closed and blocked.
So, initially one experienced the harm from another man but then he himself
becomes the victim of satan. The victim’s tragic choice of wrong…
Sex and Mercy
Sins connected with sexuality, especially adultery,
evoke the range of deep, intense and often contradictory emotions. It is
important to distinguish here three kinds of attitude taken by different
people.
Some people firmly hold the view that sexuality is a
completely private matter. Adult people can do whatever they consider the best
for themselves. The reference point here is not the commandments but the right
to a free choice. Infidelity is not regarded as a serious problem any more.
Consequently, the very word “adultery”, perceived as a condemning and
unacceptable moral judgment, disappears from the vocabulary. It is obvious that
there is no interest in the virtue of chastity here. Such an expression appears
only as a subject to mockery and jokes. Virginity is ridiculed, not valued. The
freedom of sexual behaviours is defended vigorously and passionately. All
utterances condemning a person as a “sexual sinner” provoke a wave of
indignation.
Then, there are people who consider themselves (which
does not mean they really are) the defenders of morality. Their emotional
engagement is often even bigger than the one described above. Breaking the
sixth commandment arouses their great indignation. Sexual sins are treated as
the highest and most terrifying evil. In general, avoiding the sexual subject
seems to be optimal situation here. Chastity gains the status of the highest
virtue and value. Automatically, virginity becomes the synonym of sanctity.
Unfortunately, there is a lot of hypocrisy and haughty impurity here.
Under different facades there is a fear of sex and Pharisaic obsession with
chastity. Fight against sexual sins becomes a “cunning” way to satisfy
repressed sexual desires. The worst situation is when keeping the law of
external chastity leads to inner haughtiness. There was once a woman priding
herself on her virginity and she was often described as being “as pure as an
angel and as haughty as a devil”.
Being aware of the two wrong ways, it is worthwhile to
look closely at Jesus who gives us an excellent example of healthy attitude to
sex and sexual sins (at the same time He offers a great explanation of a
sinner-sin relation). It’s beautifully presented in the Gospel scene where
“pure” Pharisees and scribes want to stone “a woman caught in adultery” (John
8, 1-11). They shout angrily: “The law of Moses says to stone her.” The woman faces
the spectre of death by humiliating stoning. And here we can see Jesus who
answers in a remarkably beautiful and merciful way.
First of all, the Master keeps peace in His heart and
stays calm. In the face of aggressive accusations He calmly “wrote in the dust
with His finger”. He quietens down the emotions of the people around Him. He
doesn’t criticize the accusers or the accused, which shows authentic chastity.
Only a man of a truly pure heart is able to remain calm when confronted with a
“sexual problem”. Impurity, by contrast, immediately gets stimulated either by
“sex defence” or by “sex being attacked”.
Then Jesus gives His attention to the accused woman.
He treats her with deep respect and talks to her very kindly with no trace of
“Pharisaic distance from the impure one.” Jesus reassures her: “Neither do I
condemn you”. Only after taking care of a person, does Jesus show the way she
should follow: “Go and sin no more”. The very issue of adultery appears only in
the background, after underlining other, more important values. There is no
sign of a sexual obsession here. Jesus just makes a general recommendation not
to sin.
Jesus acts with great sensitivity, chastity and deep
humbleness. In this light, it’s better to be a reformed and humble sinner after
committing adultery than to be “pure” in a Pharisaic way and haughtily despise
others. However, undoubtedly the best option is to be humble without the sin of
adultery. The way to keep our hearts pure is to humbly accept the help of
Merciful God…
The Significance of the Holy Communion
“Can
I receive the Holy Communion?” It is a very good sign if such a question arises
in our conscience. Apparently, our hearts are beating with loving sensitivity
and our minds are searching for an answer in accordance with God’s Will. In
order to find the optimal way of experiencing the Holy Communion, we need to
realize the fundamental truth. Above all, it is not the matter of receiving
“something” but it is about creating the reality of a cordial meeting “with Somebody”.
Jesus says about Himself “I am the Bread of Life”. It means that the Holy
Communion is the Bread of Life which is to be identified with the Person of
Jesus. In this light it is worthwhile to distinguish among the three different
types of people’s behaviour.
The
first attitude is the one which takes the Communion for granted. A person who
receives the Communion treats It as a “thing” which they are simply entitled to
get. Such an attitude can be characteristic for people who are not in a close
relationship with Church but also for the ones who regularly attend the Holy
Mass. The former present “mindless consumption” the latter ones show the
example of “pretentious haughtiness”. It is a very painful experience for
Jesus. Although in a physical way He is accepted, He suffers from great
humiliation. He feels as if He was “a thing” treated worse than a dog.
Alternatively, He loses His breath suffocated with pharisaic haughtiness.
In
the second case, Jesus suffers from completely different reason. This is a
situation when people can receive the Holy Communion but they do not do it. It
is really great that at the beginning a question if we can receive the Holy
Communion appears. However, the answer that follows is wrong; most frequently
because of the incorrect understanding of the Eucharist. Here, the Holy
Communion is perceived as a kind of “a reward for good behaviour”; “Jesus’
Eucharistic Medal” for strong moral models. The awareness of committed sins
triggers the fear of the sin of sacrilege. There is a tendency to treat every a
bit greater sin as a cardinal one. The Devil, seeing such a way of thinking,
feeds us with even more disheartening ideas and assures us: “Yes, you are not
allowed, you are a great sinner. This food is only for saints.” As a result,
the aim is achieved: the person does not receive the Bread of Life and begins
to die of spiritual hunger.
Finally,
we discover the best way, the one in accordance with the God’s Will. This time
we receive the Holy Communion and we do it following the intention of the Lord.
We fully accept the words of Jesus: “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to
me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”
(John 6:35). It is worthwhile to capture the most important truths accompanying
this righteous attitude.
Here,
the Holy Communion is experienced as the Loving Person who gives life. Saying
“I’m going to receive the Holy Communion” what we really mean and feel deeply
inside is a strong conviction that “I’m going to meet Jesus in the Holy
Communion”. The awareness of being “face to Face” triggers the act of deep
humbleness. A voice full of lowliness comes from the depths of a heart: “Lord,
I am not worthy to have you come under my roof!” There is no mindless
pretentiousness here, only some silent sobbing of a hungry and thirsty sinner
who trusts in the Lord’s Mercy. Due to the lowliness of a man, the Incarnated
Love can come and sanctify their body and soul. The Holy Communion washes away
sins, apart from the mortal ones, obviously.
When
a man desperately wants to meet Jesus and their heart is full of “great
lowliness” it is rather impossible for them to be in a state of a mortal sin.
Then, when they attend the Holy Mass, they can or, as a matter of fact, they
should always receive the Holy Communion. A mortal sin, that is a state of a
broken relationship with God, can appear when there is no interest in the Holy
Communion or when there is a haughty demand based on the conviction that we
deserve It. (Then the sacramental confession to rebuild the broken relationship
of humility and love to God is necessary).
Jesus
in the Holy Communion feeds, heals, strengthens and sanctifies our souls and
bodies. Only He is the Divine Bread for our earthly life and He is the only
Food for the Eternal Life.
The dialogue of love desires…
A woman and a man…. The most perfect
image of God on the Earth. In this relation, the desire to be loved fills a
woman’s heart and is particularly important to her. As for a man, his hunger to
give happiness through the gift of love seems to be the most significant…
A woman who feels she is loved ‘the way she is’
beams with happiness. Her soul is filled with joy of being exceptionally
beautiful and fulfilled in life. A loving and caring man inspires her sense of
safety. A woman becomes convinced that she follows somebody who knows the way,
and who, loving her wisely, leads her in the right direction. All of this fills
a woman’s heart with peace, sense of life stability and healthy self-esteem.
A situation is completely reversed when a woman
feels or is certain of not being loved. Such beliefs evoke the sense of
insecurity and chronic tension. What comes to the fore is the loneliness of a
person who, instead of experiencing the loving presence, suffers the nightmare
of non-presence and emptiness. As a result, fundamental anger arises leading to
the sequence of actual acts entitled ‘I feel unhappy’. Then various activities
are undertaken to fill the aching void and to deaden ‘the original pain
inside’. However, none substitute can give happiness. Behind the mask of ‘a
strong woman’ there is still an unhappy woman who yearningly awaits love.
Thousands of different ‘oppressions’ originate from that fundamental suffering:
‘I’m not loved. I’m not beautiful.’ The meaning of life gets shattered or
deformed…
It can be said that God poured into a woman’s
heart this particular need to be loved, whereas into a man’s heart the desire
to give love. Obviously, a woman also wants to love and a man feels the need to
be loved. However, there is a basic difference in priorities which is closely
connected with physical, psychological and spiritual structure of a woman and a
man.
In this context two great temptations exist:
one for a man, the other for a woman. The first case is present when a man does
not give his love. He cannot start a relationship as ‘a person with another
person’. A woman is treated as an object to satisfy his male ego. The
origins of such behaviour can be traced to ill will or being unable to love,
which is most often caused by parenting mistakes in a family home. In the other
situation, a man loves a woman but she cannot notice that fact or respect it.
The reason is her egoistic expectations, which make her blind to the gift she
receives. As a consequence, despite being truly loved, the woman still suffers,
convinced she is not loved at all. This is definitely a self-imposed suffering.
It sometimes happens that in result of such ‘constant discontent’ a man gets
tired and his original love fades down.
It is important to get inspiration from the
life of Mary and Joseph. Joseph, a ‘just man’ of a noble character, truly loved
Mary. He could take care of the woman whom God sent to his life. What was good
for her was more important to him than his own needs. Even for the price of a
great sacrifice, he was always ready not to act according to his own wishes but
to do ‘as the angel of the Lord commanded him’. A man loves a woman most dearly
when he treats her according to God’s will which he reads in his conscience and
then obediently follows. Mary also had great love for Joseph. She could see and
respect what he offered her from the bottom of his heart. The testimony to her
loving wisdom was the trust with which she agreed to follow all of ‘God’s
ideas’ which Joseph communicated to her. Mary could feel beautiful and happy
being loved by her man. And Joseph could experience the joy given by a woman
who trustfully and gratefully opens and accepts the love he offers.
Thanks to all of that, the Divine Child could
be born in the atmosphere of love. On the other hand, the presence of Jesus
transformed the relationship of Mary and Joseph into even deeper fullness of
mutual kindness. And the final crowning of their relation has become the
Eternal Happiness in the womb of the Holy Trinity... Saint Joseph, the Spouse
of the Holy Virgin Mary, the Patron of this day, pray for us…
The Interpretation of Loneliness
Unwanted
loneliness of some people… The soul is filled with the desire to get married
and start a family. Time is flying by but the dream stays unrealized. Most
frequently a single man or a woman thinks in the following way: “Since I want
to have a husband/wife and children, it means I have a vocation to marriage and
family”. Such an attitude leads to the constant lack of acceptance of the
existing loneliness and to the hope that the wedding day will eventually come …
Unfortunately,
holding on to this way of thinking we can remain in “the state of painful
suspension” till the day of our death. The essence of the pain is an inner
tragedy: our heart chooses being with another person but life forces us to stay
in unwanted loneliness. And this makes us feel unfulfilled and inferior:
“nobody wants me so I must be worse than other people”. A kind of resentment
appears together with some quiet jealousy towards both married and consecrated
people. The former are considered happy because they have found their “other
halves”, the latter because they have chosen solitude themselves and sacrificed
their lives to God. However, how can we accept the contradiction we experience:
the desire to get married and unwanted loneliness, which is often accompanied
by grudges against God?
To
avoid remaining in such a state we should realize the serious mistake in
interpretation of what we experience. The mere fact that somebody wants to have
a husband or a wife does not automatically mean the vocation to marriage! Such
impressions are mainly the reflection of what is written in human nature. A
healthy man desires a woman and a healthy woman wants a man. This natural
experience can mean both a vocation to marriage and to a single life. And these
two options should be taken into consideration!
A
person who decides to live a life of celibacy may at first experience even a
strong desire to marry. It sometimes happens that the choice of celibacy is
inspired by the lack of faith that it is possible to be “wanted and loved” by
somebody else. But then, over time the single person grows more emotionally
mature and finally solitude becomes the most cherished state of life and even
the real possibility of the most wonderful marriage does not seem tempting any
longer. This dynamic should be interpreted in the proper way. Here, from the
very beginning, the loneliness is the gift from God. However, initially a man
or a woman does not see it. The conscious and practical decision “yes, I agree”
makes it possible for God’s Grace, which deeply transforms human existence, to
work in our lives. The original desire to marry and the unwanted loneliness are
changed into the in-depth resignation from marriage and even fascination with
solitude.
So,
if somebody desires to get married, it does not automatically mean the vocation
to be married. It will be verified by life itself. The vocation is confirmed if
we find a husband or a wife. However, if over the years it does not happen, it
is highly probable that through this external situation God indicates the
vocation to singleness. Then, the spiritual process consists in the internal
acceptance: “Yes, I want to live in solitude”. This is the self-imposed choice
of a solitary way. Such a decision will enable God’s Grace to act and to
transform the previous “misfortune” into later happiness.
It
is worth mentioning that sometimes, as a result of a mistaken idea of love, an
only and unrepeatable chance is overlooked or wasted. Even then a person is not
doomed to be unhappy. In a given situation God will bestow His Grace so that
the loneliness can be loved. We must bear in mind that The Divine Mercy does
not give a copy of a missed opportunity. We cannot go back in time. However, in
spite of our mistakes, God helps us pouring out His Grace to make us happy in a
given situation.
We
must remember, though, that from the perspective of Heaven being or not being
married is not the most important thing. Jesus explains that when people “rise
from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like
angels in heaven.” (Compare Mark 12:18-27). So in Heaven all of us will be like
angels. The deepness of relations, which are going to make us happy there, will
not depend on our earthly way but on the level of our internal acceptance of
God’s Will.
The sense of a relentless struggle
Everyday headache, weariness and constant
tiredness. Pessimistic thoughts of being devoid of any abilities recur
cyclically. However, every day, despite that overwhelming wave of
negative emotions, he got down to his books, notebooks, took his Dictaphone and
… kept sailing across the vast sea of a foreign language. To be more precise, a
lonely white sail in the peculiar “FrenchSea”. And the sea, as we all know, is
hard on the owners of little modest boats. However, there is still a chance of
survival.
That is how every day, suffering rebellious
indispositions of his vocal-auditory organs and defeating the feeling of the
fruitlessness of his efforts; he spent hours struggling with new words, phrases
and French texts. And then, after a year of hard, systematic work “a miracle”
happened. Actually, a miracle with no inverted commas, since even some friendly
people were really surprised that a musically deaf and mute person began to
speak understandably… What a joyful sensation: to understand and to be
understood. And a thought that “evidently it makes sense after all” appeared.
It was the wind blown into the sails by the Holy Spirit… and an unusual story
began which would have never occurred if it hadn’t been for French…
Yes, learning a foreign language is an exciting
adventure in itself. Nowadays, an ability to speak one foreign language at
least, is a helpful tool and, at the same time, a chance of experiencing a
completely new world of surrounding reality. And it is also a great metaphor
which helps us to grasp more fully the most important rules of a human life in
the perspective of Divine Presence. Let us start with two traps awaiting here.
The first one is commonly known as “a flash in
the pan”. Such a flame appears abruptly and keeps burning brightly for a few
moments, but then goes out very soon and nothing is left out of it. Many people
take up learning a language on an impulse and then their enthusiasm wears off
gradually. Why does it happen? The reasons are our tendency to expect immediate
and spectacular effects, the lack of firm self- discipline and a lowering level
of motivation. In a spiritual sense our pride, which wants to get everything at
once, is revealed. And we need to bear in minds that in a spiritual life we
cannot achieve anything durable without effort or patience!
The other trap is the phenomenon of resting on
our laurels. Learning a language starts like a shot. Together with certain
abilities, some positive, satisfactory results appear. Unluckily, such success
goes to a greenhorn’s head and they start to believe that they have become a
beautiful swan of a studied language. As a result, language acquisition is
stopped at a limited level whereas a learner is falsely convinced of mastering
it fully and thoroughly. And a lifelong outcome is as follows: numerous
mistakes, lack of deeper understanding, poor pronunciation and, to sum it up,
wasted potential. This is a good image of spiritual pride which makes it
impossible for us to head for the Eternity in a persistent way.
A really good explanation about the rules of a
human life’s optimal development can be found in the Gospel in The Parable of a
Mustard Seed (Mark, 4:30-32). Jesus refers to a mustard plant which can grow on
the coasts of the Sea of Galilee and reach the height up to 3-5 meters. The
meaningful thing about the plant is that its seed “when sown upon the ground,
is the smallest of all the seeds on earth”. Since that, it is a very
illustrative example of the growth from a tiny thing to something really big
which “puts forth large branches”. This is a great metaphor of a personal
development for these ones who are ready to follow The God’s path.
The essence of real and long- lasting growth is
the humble acceptance of a modest beginning. Then, this “little tiny thing”
should be systematically and patiently developed. It seems there is no
difference between one day and another, however, real growth day by day, even
if very small, in a wider perspective brings wonderful results. In such a way
it is possible to master a foreign language thoroughly. In a spiritual
perspective, we receive a telling image of humbleness which is always a tool
for creating solid and durable buildings of God. The real Builder of the
authentic development of a human life is God Himself. The sense of an effort we
make day by day is to open ourselves to His Presence – the Gift which is able
to make us happy for ever…
The Silence of Love
“The space for a spirit to spread its wings is
silence”. The truth of that great remark by Antoine de Saint-Exupery is the
guidance for everybody who wishes to head for the spiritual summit of love.
Silence brings us a real life. It is like blood circulating around the body.
The role of blood is extremely important. Among others, it delivers oxygen to
the whole body. Oxygen deficiency,in case of thebrain, even a very short one,
causes a serious damage, permanent disability or even death.
Silence has the same role in a human life. It
is like oxygen allowing us not to vegetate but to live fully in love. It is the
necessary foundation on which we can build other elements of our lives. Without
silence, life becomes a material cage. Ceaseless chatter, ours or of other
people, plays the role of enslaving bars or even isolating concrete slabs. As
time goes by, the unbearable stuffiness of various desires makes its presence
felt. In the rush and noise, the materiality mercilessly “drags us down”,
overweighs us and causes crippling paralysis. And then a soul resembles a beautiful
eagle whose wings have been cruelly tied. A process of slow dying. Boredom,
dullness and banal triviality. Fortunately, it does not have to be like that.
Everything may look different. What can be done?
Silence is the remedy here. When silence starts
to deliver oxygen to the body, life begins to pulsate. Particular areas of our
existence rise like the mythical phoenix from the ashes. The wings of our soul
eagle are not tied any more. It can glide. Higher and higher, with no limits.
Our spirit is awakening. The love, deposited in our hearts by the Creator, is
coming out of hibernation phase into the phase of creative activeness. It does
not mean activism but spiritual creativity which reflects God and brings us
closer to God. Hopeless grayness gives place to the colourful passion of
existence. We experience an exceptional lightness of our own being. This kind
of lightness is deeply positive and resembles the moments of exhilaration on a
mountain top, when we can breathe fresh air. It is obvious that our materiality
takes part in it. Material world is wonderful; however, left only to itself it
becomes just a heavy mass. It needs a spirit which will fill it with the loving
energy of life. Shapeless mass is awaiting the form which will give it a
beautiful shape. And it is through the silence that the life- giving energy
fills the whole person. Without silence a man dies. Due to silence, we are able
to follow the Jesus’ commandment of love, even in case of our enemies.
And perhaps silence is only for the chosen
ones? Of course it is not! By no means! Can we say that only a few
chosen people need oxygen to live? It would be racism in its most disgusting and extreme form. Silence is
the option for everybody who wants to strive for perfection and live deeper and
deeper in love. Yes! I do not want to be a man with a tied spirit. That is why I want to breathe the
silence more and more fully. Silence is for every person. There is a difference
only in the amount of silence present in our lives. Some people are called to
give special testimony to the life-giving power of silence (eremitic or
monastic vocations). For example, a sense of life for a hermit is in their
prayers in silence and solitude. A man sacrifices their whole life to reveal
the unusual value of silence which makes the purest love grow and mature.
Obviously, such a vocation is given only to some people. However, it does not
change the fact, that everybody’s life will become more and more sacred only if
it is built with the help of silence. Then the spiritual powers may be set
free. A man gets an internal ability to accept even the most unusual
invitations: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who
persecute you.”(Mathew 5:44).
Yes! In silence God comes in His fullness. Then
the man is soaring higher and higher and glides in the sacred space of love.
Gently and cheerfully we leave the silence of the earthly life and enter the
Eternal Silence of Perfectly Fulfilled Love.
When does a man really love?
When
does a man truly love a woman? When is his love bigger and bigger? There is
only one answer. The deeper is a man’s relationship with God, the greater is
his genuine love for a woman. That is why it is really wise for a wife when she
wants her husband to love God above all things. If she wants him to love her
more than he loves God, she harms herself a lot. A situation when a man
declares: ‘’You’re the most important to me” taken literally is really
difficult or even terrifying. Why?
First
of all, we need to remember that such charming phrases are very often used by
“heartbreakers” with no love in their hearts who think only about their
egoistic aims. Most frequently, however, the words “I love you more than
anything” are uttered really honestly. Still, it is not a reason to be happy.
It means that the man loves the woman more than he loves God. And this is not a
good foundation for the future. The lack of a solid structure and destruction
loom on the horizon of the relationship.
A
woman who wants to be the most important and - what follows from it – more
important than God, brings to mind a tragicomical image of a person sitting on
a tree branch over a precipice and passionately cutting off the branch to have
it only for themselves and to leave the precipice… As we can guess, with the
more rapid movement the person will fall down and the branch will stay on its
place. Wishing to have a branch only for oneself results in losing everything…
That
is why every wife should be really happy when her husband honestly declares: “I
love God most of all!” What a perspective and at the same time a great action
plan! Instead of signaling “do, whatever I – the most important one – want you
to do”, a woman chooses a completely different message: “do, what God- the most
important One - wants you to do”. It is worth pointing out that Mary did not
want to be the first one and to guide Joseph. She wisely agreed for him to
listen carefully to God and stay under His influence. She joyfully agreed to be
“the second one” after God. Thanks to that She and the whole Family gained a
lot.
Still,
there is a subtle trap here! The mere fact of encouraging one’s husband to have
“faith in God” does not result in being “the second one”. Unfortunately, very
often the encouraging/ forcing a husband to believe is performed from the
position of “the first one”. God is “promoted”, however He is given a safe
status of “the second after me”. That is why nothing good comes out of it…
However,
it is not the end yet! Every wise Christian woman will be happy to be “the
third one”. How is it possible? Actually, the optimal situation is when the
second place in a man’s heart after God is taken by Virgin Mary. Mary helps the
man to accept the love of God and to offer this pure love to others afterwards.
In
this light we discover a remarkable logic of today’s feast of the Blessed
Virgin Mary, the Queen of Hermits. Hermits have imitated Jesus who “stayed
outside in lonely places” (Mark 1:45). At the same time, from the very
beginning the eremitical tradition has been steeped in the extraordinary love
for Mary. A good hermit is a person who most of all loves God and Mary. Mary is
the Queen of every true eremitical heart. Through their prayers and the Rule
they follow, with pride and joy hermits have always declared both by words and
deeds that most of all they love God and Mary.
It
is by no means discrimination against women. On the contrary, it is all about
love and respect! Indeed, Mary is a Woman! Experiencing the presence of Mary as
a Queen, that is the most important One after God, bears wonderful fruit. John
Paul II told hermits about Mary: “Love is the only force in our struggle
against the powers of darkness… As long as we stay united with that
Woman, we will be able to love.” A hermit does not love with “a pseudo-love of wizards” but with
demanding and caring love of Christ. Thanks to Mary, the Queen, God takes the
first place in a hermit’s heart. As a result, a pure love to each person, both
to a woman and a man, arises. Mary, the Queen of Hermits, pray for us….